Four desi guys and an elevator !!

The time is 9:24 am .. and I am in a hurry to catch the elevator. I have to reach office at least before 10:00 am (35 mins of journey .. so that I manage to reach at 9:59 am).. its not that anyone would mind .. but just doesn't feel right when everyone else is in at 8:00 am. I am standing in the hallway waiting for the elevator door to open. The door opens .. and I am expecting some gorgeous lady to smile at me .. so that I can return the favour, but instead I find three desi guys staring at me.

• One of them has a laptop bag around his neck and a sack on his shoulders .. desi software programmer working on site .. with a company owned laptop ?? Lets call him Mr. A

• The second one .. dressed in black .. leather shoes ..suit .. maybe a MBA graduate .. with "fluent" english speaking skills playing with his cell phone. Lets call him Mr. B

• The third one .. in his own world .. carrying a lunch box .. hmm .. maybe just married ?? Lets call him Mr. C

• The fourth one .. white sneakers .. crumpled jeans .. T shirt .. sweat shirt to cover himself ( and the crumpled T shirt ).. that would be .. yours truly.

For a fact, if all desi men are together in an elevator .. what do they do .. Lets lay down some of the basic rules that need to be followed ...

• First rule - No one talks. It is against our culture to say good morning or smile to another desi .. but if the other person is an american then it is a social etiquette and only in that case .. this rule would be broken.

• Second rule - No eye contact. Look at all the possible things in the elevator. Every nook and corner is scanned by four pairs of eyes (act as if the other three people are invisible) . Right from the manufacturer's name to the instructions which describe the events in case of fire ... we know it all. If someone was hiding a bomb inside the elevator .. someone from amongst us would have found that out too .. such is the power of scanning.

• Third Rule - You need a gadget to play with. Cell phone .. it does not matter even if there is no signal inside the elevator (not even verizon .. zero signal guaranteed inside our elevator) .. You need to show you are busy .. even if you are not ( learnt this management funda from Mr. B )

• Fourth Rule - Prayer. Hope that no more desis pop in along the way to the lobby .. to avoid any more awkward situations. ( after all you have already scanned the elevator once )

The thought process .... what each of them think when I enter the elevator

• Mr. A - Oh my god !! Another desi !! Which company is he working for .. he doesn't have a sack .. look at the crumpled jeans and sneakers (yuck .. who wears sneakers to the office) .. maybe he is working for a consultant .. maybe he is on the bench .. look at me I have a laptop .. I am better off than him (one side of the elevator scanned during this time duration)

• Mr. B - Oh my god !! Another desi !! Another one of those programmers .. all they do is code and drink coffee. Look at his dressing sense ... they don't have a sense of style. No wonder we are always higher than these people and get paid more too .. I am better off than him. tick tak tick tick tak (typing a message .. maybe ) ... cell phone to the rescue.

• Mr. C - Where should I take her this weekend ? How about a romantic candlelight dinner ? Ahem .. Ahem .. I am staring at his lunch box ... awww .. man ... just realized that it is my turn to cook today evening ...

• Yours truly - Oh my god !! Three desis !! Where is the gorgeous woman I met yesterday .. usually I am in the elevator at 9:40 am ... took so much effort to get to the elevator at 9:24 am .. and now .. I'm stuck with these three idiots ..